My Dog No Longer Thinks I'm a Moron
|For the last 10 months, my dog, Layla, has thought that
I'm a clueless, blubbering moron. I say "stay" when I mean "come," I say
"jump" when I mean "lay down," and I say "nibble
playfully at my hand" when I mean "walk next to my knee in a
But I just finished reading a remarkable book about dog training that has turned my communication style completely around. Now Layla understands most of what I say the first time, and has begun treating me with a good deal more respect.
Next month, I hope to learn how to say in Doglish, "Stop dragging me down the street just because that studly Bijon Frise is peeing in his front yard."
In the old days of dog training, things were simple. The process had three steps:
1. Tell the dog what to do.
2. Hit the dog (or yank on its leash, or yell at it) if it disobeyed.
3. Praise the dog for doing it right.
Three problems with this approach:
1. The dogs were terrified of us, and spent more energy avoiding beatings than trying to please us.
2. The dogs had no idea what we wanted, because we had no way to lead them to correct behavior.
3. The dogs often became adversarial and dangerous.
As human beings advanced, we figured out that there was an easier, more effective way. We learned it from dolphin and falcon trainers, who couldn't very well punish their animals. They could train only with rewards.
So now Operant Conditioners (the most common school is "clicker training") mold their animals' behavior by treating them for desired behaviors, and withholding treats for other behaviors. So I treat Layla every time she sits. Pretty soon she walks right up to me and sits, hoping for a treat. So now I say the word "sit" every time she sits, and I give her a treat. After a while, I only treat her for sitting when I say the word "sit." Now I've accomplished the task: I've taught her the meaning of an English word, and that she should obey it.
Teaching Layla English
But Layla sees no reason to listen to me. Like I said, she thinks I'm an idiot. Here's why:
I'm spending hours a day trying to teach English to a dog.
I don't want to brag, but I believe that I'm more intelligent, linguistically, than Layla. I have a bigger brain. I have whole circuits devoted to symbolic language. I don't spend my free time climbing into the dishwasher and licking the dishes.
So why am I knocking myself out teaching her English, a language in which "slow up" and "slow down" have the same meaning? In which "commence" means to start and to finish? In which "cleave" means to cut apart and stick together?
It's because I didn't realize I could learn her language. But The Other End of the Leash has taught me the basics.
Howie Learns Doglish
Here's the first giant revelation: humans are primates. We, and our cousins the chimps and gorillas, communicate very differently from dogs and other canids (that's the fancy word I learned - it means, "dogs and wolves"). So we naturally "speak" primate to each other, and we understand primate very well. But when we speak primate to dogs, they think we're nuts.
For example, primates show dominance by making lots of noise. (Remember the chimp in the Jane Goodall documentary who discovered how to bang on oil drums and quickly became alpha male?) Dogs show dominance by their silence - it's usually the nervous/frightened/longing dog who's doing all the barking and howling.
Another example - primates like face-to-face contact when greeting. Eye contact, kissing, shaking hands, hugging - these are all variations on how humans, gorillas, chimps, and bonobos greet one another. Dogs and wolves, on the other hand, greet and acknowledge each other in a more sideways fashion, sniffing butts.
One last example - showing affection. Primates use their arms to show affection - holding hands, hugging, walking arm in arm, putting their arms on each others' shoulders. Canids use their forepaws in much the same way, but with a very different message: dominance. Putting your arm around your dog signals to her that you have a higher ranking than her, and therefore priority access to important resources.
So now when I want Layla to sit, or stay, or come, I use my body like a dog would. I lean, I use eye contact, I use noises and cadences. And here's the absolutely mind-blowing thing: she obeys, without any training. She understands me, because I'm finally speaking her language.
Are you marketing in You-lish or They-lish?
When I start marketing a product, I naturally start by talking to myself. I write sales copy that appeals to my values. I argue the price/value question in ways that I find convincing. I use layouts and pictures that affect me.
Unless my market is very much like me (which rarely happens, believe me), I'm going to fail.
I'm speaking Gorilla-ish to Dogs. To me, I'm saying "Buy my stuff," but they hear, "Run away! I'm a Dork."
I'm not going to succeed in teaching my prospects Howie-lish. If I want to communicate with them, I have to learn their language.
How do I go about learning their language?
First, I do research. I read what they read. If they're online, I visit their websites and newsgroups. I see how others are successfully marketing to them. I find out as much as I can about how much money they make, where they live, how old they are, how many kids in college, etc. Basic Demographics and Psychographics.
I interview some of them. I find out what's on their minds. I try to sell them on the product and capture all their objections.
Next, I go through some thought exercises. I imagine myself living their lives, having their problems, dreaming their dreams. The art of marketing, at its core, is empathy.
Finally, I start writing like I would talk to them, knowing everything I know. I may not be perfect, but at least I'm no longer trying to speak Gorilla to a Dog. And when they sense that I've made the effort to bridge the gap and understand them, my prospects often take a step toward me as well.
When market research is too costly or time-consuming or impractical, I fall back on quick and dirty trial and error. I make two offers, and count which one gets a better response. That's my control. I keep that one, chuck the loser, and create a new one. Again, I keep the winner and replace the loser.
What I'm really doing, of course, is training myself, rather than trying to train my market.
And that's why Layla no longer thinks I'm a moron.
Now it's time to convince my kids.
Properly trained, a man can be a dog's best
There's facts about dogs, and then there's
opinions about them. The dogs have the facts, and the humans have the
opinions. If you want the facts about the dog, always get them straight from
the dog. If you want opinions, get them from humans.
The stupider the peasant, the better the horse
“I can teach anybody how to get what they want
out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what
It's important to talk to people in their own
language. If you do it well, they'll say, "God, he said exactly what I was
thinking." And when they begin to respect you, they'll follow you to the
1. Dan Kennedy has a list of 10 questions you must consider before starting to market. His big one: "What keeps your prospects awake at night?" How could you find out the answer to that question? Start by listing the things that keep you awake at night. Who would you confide about those things? Under what circumstances? Can you get your prospect to confide in you?
2. Spend an hour playing with a toddler. Don't try to accomplish anything except that both of you have fun. What skills must you practice and hone in order to accomplish this?
3. Start noticing really bad ads that try to sell things you are likely to buy. TV commercials, radio spots, yellow pages ads, newspaper and magazine ads. Notice that they speak to you in the wrong language. Take an ad and rewrite it so that it does speak to you.
Magnetic Marketing, by Dan Kennedy. Dan has influenced just about every
successful direct marketer in the world over the past 20 years. If you
can't afford to compete with Coke and Nike in your advertising, you
absolutely need to get familiar with Dan's stuff. Warning: many find
him offensive. If you do, get over it, because he delivers information
and insights available from nobody else. Buy it here.
Boy, do I spend a lot of time teaching you how to talk so your prospects will listen. As I said above, the essence of the art of marketing is empathy. (The essence of the science of marketing is experimentation.) Leads into Gold is well into its second printing, and comes with a new pricing structure that lets you choose the level of follow-up support. My intention is to more precisely match my customers' needs, and provide the right value to each one.
Interested in Leads into Gold, but not quite ready to commit? Why not dip your toe in the water instead of diving in? Get the CD of a live teleseminar that I conducted a couple of months ago. I pull out all the stops in this introduction to lead generation. End cold calling forever - learn how in just 1 hour of listening. Your investment is a whopping $15, and if you order before the next ice age, you get free shipping anywhere in the US.Click here to order.
4. Put talking testimonials on your website: www.howieconnect.com/talkingwebsite.htm
If you've visitedhttp://www.leadsintogold.com since July, you've seen a very cool audio component. It's a service that makes it simple, quick, and cheap to get people to give you glowing testimonials at the moment you've deserved them. Picture this: you've just helped a customer or client, and they're really grateful. You hand them your cell phone and say, "Would you mind repeating what you just said so I can use it on my website? It's so much more powerful when you say something nice about me than when I say it about myself." They wait for the beep, record the message, and eight seconds later it's ready for you or your webmaster to insert on your site.
Usually, I tout this service as a way to get convincing and easy testimonials. But you can also use it to hear, in your best customers' own words, what they appreciate about you. Then you get to give them more of it. Check out this truly revolutionary technology and let your customers brag about you to the world and teach you how to sell them more and more of what they want and need.
The Motivated Marketing Letter is published whenever I feel like it (these days it seems to be coming out twice a month), and is a copyrighted feature of howieconnect. For down-to-earth, ethical, and easy-to-follow marketing guidance, visit www.howieconnect.com. I work with businesses and solo practitioners who are great at what they do, and not so great at telling the world about it.
What would you like to read about in future issues of the Motivated Marketing Letter? Email me topics and questions, and save me the trouble of guessing.
To unsubscribe with no hard feelings, click on the link at the bottom of this email. If you would like to subscribe to the Motivated Marketing Letter, fill out the form on my home page, www.howieconnect.com. You'll get my seven-part lead generation course, and then about two letters a month.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when
you fall in an open sewer and die.
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of
Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's
face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head
out the window!
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist
said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'
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help my clients increase sales through automated systems based on permission,
value, accountable ROI, and the generous and strategic sharing of knowledge.
howieConnect exists to enable good people to make a good living doing what they love.
I help my clients increase sales through automated systems based on permission, value, accountable ROI, and the generous and strategic sharing of knowledge.
The Leads into Gold™ System. A marketing course, toolkit, swipe file and audio crash course & "personal trainer" to help you attract more business than you can handle with no cold calling. Learn how to generate qualified leads who want what you sell. Get them to call you.
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